I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
