Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
