Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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