I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
