can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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