Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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