When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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