My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
