I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
