i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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