i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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