I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Found the puke drawer
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
