if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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