I just made out with a guy for $7.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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