I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
