btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
