I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
