Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
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