I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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