you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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