I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
