he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
