Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
