he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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