So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize