Fuck appropriateness.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
