my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's great music for shaving your balls
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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