I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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