please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize