Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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