I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
