New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
