Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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