Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
