why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
