I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
