is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
