Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
