I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
