just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize