Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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