My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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