Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize