this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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