You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
