Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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