Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize