Slut skills are useful in every country.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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