He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
