her vagine was all disorganized.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
