i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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