I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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