Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
