4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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