Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
