you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
