Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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