Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
