I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
