found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
