STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
