I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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