halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
